Chewing fat: the 10 most offensive stereotypes

It’s hard enough dealing with image issues when you’re a woman. Everywhere you look, there are airbrushed models, unrealistic renderings, and judgments. As I got older, I realized the falsehood of these things and moved from comparing myself to models and actors.

However, as a plus size woman, I am often bothered by stereotypes and assumptions about us. It is time for us greats to speak up and be heard.

Recently, I was very disappointed when at a well-known writers conference they were reported (rightly) for deciding not to bring a staff member to this year’s event due to their size. Weight or height discrimination happens every day and has happened to me.

There are many different reasons why someone can be overweight, which is why stereotypes are so aggravating. But I think it’s safe to say that generalizing to ANY group of people is ignorant, wrong, and dangerous. Overweight women (and men) are no exception.

Below are the 10 most offensive stereotypes I’ve ever experienced and I think it’s time to bring them up.

  1. We are always eating.

Think of the TV sitcom where the token fat person is always shoving his face and has no self-control. This is partly a lazy way to type for a cheap laugh. But it is a common and annoying stereotype. And is it really that fun? Has this joke not been run enough?

  1. We are all lazy.

I’m busy from the moment my feet hit the ground in the morning until my head hits the pillow at night. I know of many other overweight people who suffer from the same thing. Just because we’re not hanging out at the gym like it’s a hobby doesn’t mean we’re sitting on our butts eating candy all day.

  1. We are all sick as a result of our weight.

I realize that being overweight can increase your risk for a multitude of diseases and problems (heart disease, diabetes, etc.). But it is not a GUARANTEE and it cannot be assumed that an overweight person is experiencing these challenges.

I remember the first time I got pregnant with my son. He was 37 years old and overweight. Don’t think I didn’t realize the top-down eyeball evaluations I was receiving. I wanted to say to them: “Yes! I am aware that I am fat and you think I am the age of Methuselah to give birth, but I am not stupid and I will take good care of myself and my son.”

I am not giving advice on this in any way, shape or form. Consult your doctor for that. But yes, I had a healthy pregnancy and child. I ate healthy and had excellent prenatal care. But I could have done it without all the judgment.

  1. We are jealous of thin people.

Not long ago, someone at work (who happens to be skinny) made a great point by talking to me to talk about how fat they think they are getting fat. It is very clear that I am much heavier than her and she was talking ONLY to me at that time. This is not the first time I’ve been told this kind of thing.

When someone who is obviously quite skinny says this to someone who is obviously heavier, the first thing that comes to mind is that they want you to say, “Oh, I wish I was as skinny as you are! You’re not fat at all! ! “It’s an obvious fish for a compliment.

Here’s the thing, I don’t care who’s thinner than me. I’m not comparing myself to them! And if they need a fat person to envy them in order to feel good about themselves, then I feel sorry for them.

  1. We all have low self-esteem and we feel very bad about ourselves.

I am currently almost at my highest weight (and I am getting older), I feel better about myself than ever.

I realize that what people find attractive can vary dramatically. The only person I really care about being attracted to is my husband, and he doesn’t complain.

I once had a wellness coordinator that I patronize on and she said “you’re worth it,” as if she assumed that just because I was fat, I didn’t think I deserved to pursue what she felt was good for me.

  1. We don’t know that we are fat.

More than one person in my life has felt the need to point out that I am fat. We don’t need people to let us know that we are overweight. We are perfectly capable of knowing this on our own, and believe me, we do.

  1. We do not know how to lose weight ourselves.

We don’t need to be lit up with unsolicited advice like we don’t know you need to burn more calories than you consume to lose weight. Not all of us are completely helpless in this capacity and for many of us, if we want to lose enough weight, we will!

Sure, there are educated professionals who are very skilled and experienced in helping people achieve their goals. Nutritionists, personal trainers, trainers, etc., I am not saying at all that they are not important or valuable. What I mean is that we don’t need the “smelly eye” if we indulge ourselves in a few seconds or eat dessert.

I once asked a coworker to show me her sandwich, which had a lot of veggies, and she’d say “Oh, look at that. Doesn’t it look pretty, colorful, and delicious with all those veggies?” He said this to me as if I were a child, as if he was introducing me to the idea of ​​eating vegetables. I’m sure of his patronizing schedule due to other things he had said to me in the past.

  1. We are all merry bums.

Is it really that much fun that so many goofy and silly characters from TV, books, and movies are chubby? Do they need to be depicted as often as lovable, straightforward fools? We’re not all stupid and uneducated, but lovable idiots. Think of the burly boy in the children’s adventure movie who always needs to be rescued or the burly cartoon mouse who is always left behind … you get the idea.

Some of us are highly educated and successful professionals. We are goal-oriented and have a lot to offer an organization with our well-developed careers.

  1. There is a link with obesity and hygiene.

Nor are we less likely to see each other or dress professionally to present ourselves well. A member of my family once told me about someone who thought he looked unsanitary (and turned out to be overweight) saying, “Well, I know fat smells …”. My eyes popped out of my head. I’ve been around too many skinny, smelly people for this to be absolute!

We know this is a common stereotype or we wouldn’t see the sloppy character on a TV show or movie portrayed as fat. You’ve seen it: stains on the shirt, wrinkled clothing, general unkempt appearance. This shouldn’t even have to be said, but not all overweight people are unhygienic (from crying out loud …)

  1. That it is someone else’s business or that discrimination should be tolerated.

What I want to say to these stereotype creators is this: if it doesn’t affect you, then don’t judge. It really is nobody else’s business what someone weighs or what size they wear. It is not okay to transfer your own low self-esteem onto a fat person to make yourself feel better.

Stereotypes and assumptions are destructive. This is where discrimination is born. This is how we get overlooked for promotions and opportunities. It is not okay to discriminate against someone for any reason, and size is no exception.

It’s out there, the challenge is real. It is time for us to talk.

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