Love, this four letter word with many components is simple but complex. In some respects, you may experience feelings of bliss and joy, but in others, it may leave you jaded. I remember conversations about love and how this culprit could make me lose. People would advise against such an experience stating that it will make you do foolish things.
How does that “thing” called love compare you to being a fool? That is not attractive in any way. Needless to say, I wasn’t entertained by love because of the negative connotation it sometimes has. These wrong words of wisdom made me afraid to experience it. Consequently, when I played with love, I did my best to keep my feelings at bay. I would tell myself that he needs to love me more than I love him. This would prevent me from experiencing prejudice in case the relationship did not last.
Then one day it happened. I went too far, I let my guard down too much and so I was experiencing love and enjoying it. I found out that being vulnerable and naked without limits wasn’t so bad, until the BIG BREAKUP. That indescribable love ended abruptly leaving me heartbroken. I felt that I had experienced Panic Syndrome. I thought “LOVE SUCKS!” How quickly I returned to the lessons learned from my youth. I was angry and briefly, the break up made me feel bad even about myself. I always thought I was pretty solid when it came to my self esteem and self esteem but unknowingly I was slipping into low self esteem and lack of self love.
After that horrible brief phase in life and some self-reflection, I got it back. I found a deep appreciation for myself. Self love is the first love!
“You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha
I really got to a great place in life where I love myself a little bit. I am grateful for my appearance, my quirks, my style, and my imperfections. I learned to make time for myself and pamper myself to the fullest. So yeah, I’m pretty awesome!
Once I reconnected with that need in life, only then was I ready and ready to face love once more.
Self love is not selfish. You cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself – Author unknown
I thought about the past situation and had an epiphany that love doesn’t suck at all. Love, in fact, was not the villain. Ernest Hemingway said it best
“Better to lose and love than never to have loved.”
I made the decision to remember the advantages of love versus the consequences of a broken promise. The emotions and feelings that I felt or that I feel when I am in love are incredible. I choose to focus on the glass half full and am careful not to lose sight of that optimism. There is hope for a person scorned out of love because there was hope for me. Since that failed love I have loved over and over and over again. You understand.
With each opportunity to love, I have learned to love even better. I am truly a self-taught hopeless romantic and lover of love. I acknowledge my feelings and emotions. Some would say that love is not a feeling, but I disagree. I feel the love in my heart just as I felt that heartbreak. I created a new gratitude for this supposed bad thing. When you are given the opportunity to love and when love is reciprocated it can be a wonderful adventure.
If you are sick of love, you should revisit this amazing feeling/emotion. You get what you put in, so I challenge you to keep an eye on what you’re showing. If you feel like love always fails, I guess it always will. If you think love is an illusion, chances are the love you experience is just that. I encourage you to give it another chance because we’ve all had epic fails when it comes to love, but it’s your choice how you want to remember it.