As the global financial situation continues to unravel before our eyes, the last vestiges of that sense of security we have all been led to believe in have been exposed as the fairy tale it has always been. We have always had plenty of evidence around us that ‘security’ was an illusion presented for our consideration by those who thought (rightly so) that they could win people’s loyalty by promising them the impossible; but, like many aspects of the world of our understanding, it always seems easier to believe in the improbable than to have to deal with the unpleasant. One of the challenges we face as we go through the midlife transition stems from the pain we experience when we realize the need to give up many of our favorite fantasies: the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, Santa. Claus and financial security.
There are two basic aphorisms that I think everyone should learn when they’re done going through the midlife transition: 1) the only constant is change, and 2) we see only what we want to see. Even after being on this planet for a reasonably long period of time, I never cease to be amazed at the incredible capacity men and women have for self-deception. Denial, particularly for men, and even more particularly in middle age, is less an aberration than a way of life. Yet the powerful lessons of the first decade of the 21st century are beginning to wear on our comfortable, if not very realistic, facade. I think the first illusion of this kind to vanish was the myth of ‘Retirement.’ The career men and women of the present and future are going to have to undergo a considerable readjustment of attitude, compared to the attitudes of the fairly recent past.
As I have often said (citing several sages before me), one of the primary (and most sacred) roles of government is the protection of the weakest members of our society from the ‘tyranny of the majority’. If we sincerely believe in the absolute sanctity of human life, that means that no one, not even one person, can ‘fall into oblivion’. none of us ever win our basic human rights, nor can we ever lose them (since no society can grant these rights, no society can honestly claim to take them away from us or even ignore them). Of course, there are times when families and societies must exercise ‘tough love’ towards some of their wayward members, but that simply means that we as a people refuse to allow our fellow citizens to wreak havoc on themselves or on others. others. However, people do not lose their inalienable right to be members of the human family because of his behavior any more than Uncle Fred, the drunk, loses his membership in the family because of what he says or does.
Outside of the topic of tough love, we have an obligation to provide for our family, our human family – and we need to take this obligation more seriously in the years to come, because things are likely to get much worse before they get better. time for let do anything has come and gone. We are responsible not only for ourselves and members of our immediate family, but also for members of our human family. We cannot leave our common obligation only to those who are generous enough with their time and resources to give to charity. Our mutual obligations go far beyond ‘charity’: it is now a matter of Justice because each of us has inalienable rights that we must all respect. Making a good living just for you and your family can no longer be anyone’s life purpose. To do so would be courting extinction, because the definition of ‘fittest’ has changed. ‘Fittest’ no longer refers to the strongest and most aggressive; the fittest from now on will be the men and women who are most empathetically connected to each other. It is a new world.
One thing is for sure: things in our lives will never be the same again. The socioeconomic changes that have finally befallen us will leave permanent marks on our human family. Like the transition from adulthood to middle age and maturity, our world is receiving a dose of reality that (at least in the short term) can be quite difficult to digest. When we are ready to come out the other side of this, we will find that our socio-economic expectations, as well as our understanding of our place in the world and in human history, will be profoundly altered. Change, like Shakespeare’s ‘tomorrow’ macbeth, “he creeps in his petty step from day to day”; while we have been subconsciously trying to seize the day and keep it. Change doesn’t stop just because, for a while, we’ve stopped believing in it. Eventually, reality wins out, denial has to break, and suddenly we find ourselves in Future Shock, trying to catch up.
One of the illusions that we are seeing vanish is Retirement. pensions? No! 401K? Yuck! Social Security? Hey? That leaves us contemplating serial careers: once we reach an age where it is no longer appropriate to continue in our chosen career, we are faced with a decision about our next most age-appropriate career choice. With proper planning, we can avoid ending our working lives where we began: as supermarket baggers. However, the vast majority of us are going to have to put an end to them. in some place instead of on a Caribbean beach. We also need to rethink what we mean by career. No one can expect to spend their working life in the same organization, in the same job or even in the same profession anymore. Even the traditional lifelong professions of doctor or lawyer no longer guarantee people a permanent place in the workforce. You You don’t want to be overtaken by change and left without a ‘Plan B’ just because someone at some point sold you a list of assets regarding job security!
We would do well to banish the term ‘job security’ from our vocabulary. The US Department of Labor estimates that today’s students will have between 10 and 14 jobs at the age of 38! Additionally, 25% of the current workforce has been with their current employer for less than one year, and half of the workforce has been at their current jobs for less than five years. Most of the new jobs on the horizon will require extensive education. In general, women will continue to be better educated (and therefore more prepared for these jobs) than men. Add to this the fact that women’s temperaments will increasingly be more appropriate for these jobs because they will require advanced social networking skills and the ability to share information and responsibility openly and freely, and you will see clearly that men’s suitability for more advanced positions in the future labor market will be increasingly compromised. The historical role of men in human society as breadwinner, provider and protector has already become obsolete. . . we men simply aren’t aware of it yet, or if we are, we’re in denial.
In adolescence, our world turned upside down and we had to reinterpret everything we thought we knew. If we were lucky, we had someone we could trust to guide us by our side. Now that we are approaching or involved in the midlife transition, we need our world to be redefined and reinterpreted once again for us. If we are wise, we will seek someone older to guide us in this process as well. This is particularly true now, when our entire social structure is in flux, and with it our understanding of how we fit together and what our purpose here should be. These are no longer obvious facts, but rather puzzles that we have to wrestle with (on top of everything else we’re going through)!
On the negative side, as we step out of our comfortable illusion of security, we will find ourselves more and more in a world that we can barely comprehend. At the same time, however, if we have the courage (particularly as men) to break out of our historical molds, face our unspeakable or unspeakable fears about “masculinity,” and imaginatively reinvent ourselves, we can look forward to what one promises to be. one of the most innovative and creative eras in all of human history. We are at a turning point right now. Why not take the opportunity and run with it?