When my boyfriend started a new job, he was too busy with work to spend time with me.. From the beginning, I told myself that I should be more understanding, because it was reasonable to respect his need to study, connect with new colleagues, recharge (alone or with friends), connect with family, exercise, etc.
But despite my best efforts, I began to feel neglected and moody…
As a result, I became cold and mean to him, on the phone and even on dates! It wasn’t long before he too began to act distant.
Therefore, he knew he had to act fast before he lost it…
It wasn’t easy, I admit. It took courage and discipline, but I did it. so to help you communicate with your ‘too busy’ boyfriend in a way that will not only maintain your relationship, but also help it growThis is what you have to do…
BEFORE you talk about the things you are unhappy about, be clear and specific about what you want!
Since your boyfriend is too busy with work, it’s a safe bet that he’s already feeling stressed. Saying that he is the source of your problems will only ADD more stress, because he wants to help you solve your problems, but he loses when you don’t tell him what specifically you want him to do.
In fact, if you don’t tell him exactly what you want, he’ll likely come up with (seemingly strange) solutions that won’t work for you. Does this sound familiar to you? His frustration mounts as she wonders “Why can’t he understand what I need and want?”
Can you see when you yourself are not clear about what you want, both parties lose?
[WARNING!: When your boyfriend can’t help you solve your problems, he feels terrible about himself. Did you know a man’s self-esteem crashes because your unhappiness communicates to him that HE’S A FAILURE – at solving your problems; making you happy; being your boyfriend? When a man feels like a failure, he cannot love. Hence, if you have gotten angry at your boyfriend because he couldn’t read your mind, don’t be surprised when he distances himself from you…]
Too often, we women don’t bother spending time alone to honestly ask ourselves what we want…
I am also guilty of this. We hope that by sharing our problems, our boyfriends, who are often so good at coming up with creative solutions that please us, will come up with another great idea to delight us. For example, I secretly hoped that my boyfriend would put aside his other commitments to see me. I secretly hoped he would text me during his lunch hour or on the way to work.
But he never did…
It wasn’t until my relationship was in serious danger of breaking up that I finally made the effort and courage to say to my boyfriend, “I’d rather you text me at least once, either in the morning or over lunch. On the contrary, I just feel like we’re friends who don’t talk much.” He freaked me out texting him this. But I breathed a sigh of relief when I actually THANK myself for being honest with him. He also told me that he would do what he asked. As a result, I am pleased to report that we are now even more in love.
Being clear about what I specifically want has worked for me time and time again. However, I don’t always remember this technique until things get pretty bad. Fortunately, it ALWAYS helps me communicate with my boyfriend, even when he is too busy, to maintain and grow our relationship. By sharing my secrets, I hope you use them to successfully keep the affections of the man you love too! I know you can do it.