I had my first book and my first baby in the same year. It wasn’t much planning, I know, but it turned out that way. I am now approaching the two year mark and reflecting on what I have lost and what I have gained back after absorbing the inevitable changes that come with having a child. I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight, that’s good. I’m exercising and practicing yoga again, that’s good. I am writing again. Is that good? Well yes and no. I am writing, but not in the usual disciplined way I used to write before my life changed. Now I write in fits and starts, depending on when I can carve out some time for myself, which also depends on how well my son is sleeping at any given time. When I write this way, it’s harder to find my way back to what I was thinking, depending on how long it’s been since I last looked at the pages. I find this to be a painful way to work and now I realize that more than anything I miss my writing habit.
I realize, of course, that my clothes cannot be the same. I am a mother now, after all. But I think I can have my writing habit, it just has to be different now and I have to figure out what those differences need to be. Here are some of the things I’m doing to find my way back into my writing habit. If you’re having trouble developing a writing routine, perhaps these steps can help you find a way to achieve yours.
Focus on one project at a time
If I’ve learned anything as a new mom, it’s this: multitasking is seriously overrated! You may be able to physically do more than one thing at a time, but one way or another, your work on one of the tasks will be negatively affected. I think this becomes more apparent as you get closer to your overwhelming point. Tasks are manageable when your life is relatively uneventful, but add in a vacation, family visit, or unexpected trip and suddenly you’re struggling with the weight of unfinished work that has begun to pile up.
Right now I have four writing projects going and it’s starting to feel like too many. My brain is pulled in too many directions. I know it’s time to clean the covers. Over the next few weeks I will be completing these projects, one at a time, so that I can start on a larger project that I will devote my full attention to. What can you complete or leave out in the next few weeks so you can focus on your writing?
develop a ritual
Rituals are those little routine acts that signal to your mind that it’s time to get to work. She used to have a little piece of paper and on it she had written something that she had paraphrased from Annie Dillard’s The Writing Life. He would say, “Write Sophfronia, write Sophfronia, write Sophfronia, write and don’t waste your time.” Every time I walked into my cubicle at The Writer’s Room in New York’s Greenwich Village (where I did most of the work on my first novel), I pinned the paper to the bulletin board in front of my desk. Then I would get my materials out and start working.
Some writers light a candle. Some pray. Your ritual can be whatever you want it to be, whatever gets your engine started the most. I’m going to find some photos of women who look like my characters. I’ll put them in front of me or on my desk. They’ll tell me it’s time to work. What ritual can you create to move you to write?
Find routes already traveled
Whenever I have trouble concentrating, I look at other artists to see how they dealt with the same problem. Why reinvent the wheel when someone else may have a battle-tested solution? Right now I am getting much needed support and inspiration from the book “The Creative Habit” by choreographer Twyla Tharp. She cares about developing a routine, so she’s reinforcing my feeling that I need to get back into a disciplined writing habit. Because of her I know that I am not putting my energies in a fruitless direction. Where could you find help for your journey?
Can you make a compromise?
There is a certain habit that I have that I have never broken: I wash my face and apply toner and moisturizer every morning and every night. I’ve done it for so many years that I don’t even think about it. I do it because I know it’s good for my skin and I made a commitment to it a long time ago. I heard author Wayne Dyer made a commitment to jogging every day. He does it even if he is traveling. He has been seen running up and down hotel corridors!
When I think about those kinds of commitments, I realize that there is a huge piece missing from my work to get back into the habit of writing. I still have to make a commitment to him. In the previous incarnation of my habit, I used to schedule my work and turn down any invitations, appointments, or distractions that would have conflicted with my writing schedule. I know I have to make that decision to recommit. I will work through all the steps I mentioned above, but I know it won’t do any good if I don’t make the decision.
What does it take for you to commit to your work? What will you need to put it first, to not make excuses, to do it even when you don’t seem to fit in? Find that answer, it’s somewhere inside you, and you’ll find your writing habit.