Overcoming life-changing and debilitating disability challenges and unavoidable new circumstances can cripple the soul. Your new, now enduring set of circumstances can cause some unexpected lifelong challenges.
THEN YOU ARE FACED WITH THE QUESTION “WHAT SHOULD I DO?
1- NEVER GIVE UP
One of the hardest things to witness that often accompanies debilitating fear is seeing a person who has simply given up. They have stopped fighting and they have stopped pushing forward. There is no visible sign of action or intention to improve their situation. Things always get worse when you give up. Choosing that path is not the answer. As hard as it is, never give up! Never give up!
2- ATTITUDE
How terrible it must be to lose control of one’s attitude and give up. You need the ability to control your attitude.
FAITH and FEAR cannot coexist.
If you can learn to adapt to your challenges by focusing on what you can control in life, your attitude and actions will improve. Your complaint story may seem unfair. However, you should always fight to prevent “unfair” thoughts of “why me” from taking over and weighing you down.
Your debilitating disability or new set of circumstances, now enduring, even if permanent, may cause lifelong paralysis of certain normal functions or some unexpected lifelong challenges. Your condition may have started at birth, or you may have survived a life-threatening event. Even if your actions are the cause of your lasting circumstance, there can be hope. Your actions may have caused a change in direction in your lifelong dreams. For whatever reason you are here, you have survived, though you are not completely unscathed. How can I make the best of my situation should be the main question and goal in your life journey.
Paraphrasing Brandon Sulser’s book “We Are All Paralyzed”. Maybe you can pause and listen to a familiar tune sung by the artists, Sting, singing “Asleep on the ocean’s bed, drifting on empty seas. For all my days remaining.” Then you may have heard the words in your mind: “Dark angels follow me over a godless sea”… “Mountains of endless fall. For all my remaining days.” Even the title of this song “Why should I cry for you?” it can echo the thoughts you have often meditated on and sometimes vocalized to yourself, even to God. Realizing the permanence of your condition, the following questions may have echoed in your mind more than once: Why am I here? Why is it a difficulty that I cannot overcome on my own? Why do I have to suffer so much? Does my load seem too difficult to carry alone? Is my battle too hard, too? Can I turn to God for inspiration? Will God give me the strength to carry my personal cross?
You may have pondered all of the above questions and hopefully three more that you have prayed for: “God, if it is not part of Your plan to take the test from me, could You strengthen me in some way? God, will You heal my soul?” wounded with hope? do you bless me with strength beyond what I have so that I can endure and make the best of the trials to come?” Controlling one’s attitude is always a challenge, as it will be for you, but you can do it.
So the above has been your cycle of thinking, reflecting, and praying. A common misconception held by many, particularly among Christians, is that faith, being good enough, praying enough, can entitle blessings, even miracles. All the things we want to happen have to be combined with God’s will for us. During this excruciating period of heartbreak, helplessness, and sometimes hopelessness, don’t make the big mistake during this period of great testing. DON’T STAY AWAY FROM GOD AT THE TIME YOU NEED IT THE MOST! Certainly, your situation will not be easier if you turn away from God. You need all the help you can get to navigate your difficult and unforeseen path.
3- EACH ONE OF US HAS A MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB
Your challenges can be many, unforeseen, and ongoing. Today is the time to start climbing your mountains. Start conquering your obstacles, here and now. You may never reach the top of every mountain you try to climb. However, it has been my experience, the higher you go, your vision expands and the view is better, the higher you go.
“To a certain extent, a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and the movements and changes in the world around him. Then there comes a time when it is within his power to mold the clay of his life into the kind of thing you want to be – be.
Only the weak blame their parents, their race, their time, a lack of good fortune, or the whims of fate. Everyone has it in their power to say: ‘This I am today; I’ll be tomorrow'”
~Louis L’Amour
By now you will have noticed that the path of life that you walk, dream and plan for, you are continually adjusting. Problems in life are abundant and not always what you had planned or dreamed would be your circumstance. Unexpected obstacles that are suddenly thrown in the way. Detours are sometimes extreme and unplanned. The grievance surrounds. The concern remains. However, if one’s attitude is controlled, happiness, hope and peace can coexist.
4- CAREGIVERS ARE GUARDIAN ANGELS
A caregiver comes in all flavors, a husband, wife, grandfather, grandmother, father, mother, brother, sister, or friend, and even handpicked paid help. Willing caregivers are like beacons sharing beacons of light that provide service, hope, comfort, and safety to the disadvantaged and bereaved. Let’s be completely honest. Everyone needs unconditional loving assisted care. Caregivers are beacons for those who suffer physically and emotionally. They are a vital beacon to the bereaved, the suffering, and those in need of help.
For bereaved individuals with exigent painful circumstances, the best hope is that they themselves seek empowerment to reach their full potential through education, support, and determination. However, reconciling your grievances, healing, and needs can also be, and often is, helpful on the part of a caregiver. The harsh reality is that the need for a caregiver may continue or increase, not decrease. Caregivers are guardian angels who provide beacons of light and comfort.
“Because I was hungry, and you gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me drink; I was a stranger, and you welcomed me; naked, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you visited me. ..” ~Matthew 25:35-36
You may experience shocking personal trials, adversities, and unexpected needs, beyond your self-sufficiency. You should not stop appreciating the help that a caregiver can provide. Its value for your personal healing and the necessary help is indescribable. Time and effort offer healing assistance but serious needs for satisfaction, which you cannot always supply yourself, leave some lasting pain. Unexpected events can occur and cause major detours in your life.
Whenever I think about the role of the caregiver, I think of a comment made by William Penn:
“I hope to pass through life but once. If, therefore, there be any kindness that I can show, or any good that I can do for any fellow man, let me do it now, and not postpone or neglect it, for I will not.” come through here again.”
It may be impossible to express enough gratitude to and for a loyal, dependent, and loving caregiver. To the extent possible, plan ahead for a loving and willing caregiver. Do your best to find someone willing to care for you. More than one caregiver may be needed in times of unexpected need.
5- COMMUNION WITH GOD
Learning to harness your personal power is something you must do. Also having personal blessings of peace, comfort and guidance from a loving Supreme Being complements one’s personal power.
I take the liberty of expressing my deep conviction in God and expressing my deep and abiding gratitude for my many personal blessings.
“ALL HUMAN BEINGS, male and female, are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and as such each has a divine nature and destiny.”
~ THE FAMILY A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD
I believe that we are all spiritual children of a Supreme Being. You and I may not understand the trials we face. However, I believe that we are children of God who cares. My heart has been comforted by those things in which I believe. My discouragement has been faced and conquered by beliefs nurtured and harvested.
On occasion, you may notice that some were apparently born and died with a silver spoon in their mouth, and faced seemingly few complications. However, for some, it’s “Woe is me!” while we ask the question: why these undeserved tests? Questions can swirl in your mind like empty plastic bags in a strong windstorm. As you live life, you learn that difficulties and trials are common to humanity.
In my life I have received many blessings. To receive blessings without acknowledging their source is to be both naive and ungrateful. Hopefully, there will be many times in your life when you will silently clap for the blessings you receive and no one will notice your grateful silent applause, and no one will even hear your expressions of gratitude except you and the Lord who gave them. Blessings
“Wherefore, he gives you this promise, with an immutable covenant that it shall be fulfilled; and all the things with which you have been afflicted will work together for your good and for the glory of my name, says the Lord.
~ Doctrine and Covenants 98:3
I firmly believe in a God who loves me, knows me by name, and cares for me through thick and thin. I testify that his Son lives and has provided an opportunity for my body to one day be resurrected in its perfect form; and that he has atoned for all my sufferings and mistakes.
May you have hope.