Believe it or not, love can survive, even if your husband, boyfriend, or lover is in prison. My husband and I are excellent role models, and our love has not only survived, but has grown stronger with each passing day…with each beat of our hearts. I like the saying, “we are 2 hearts beating in unison”.
My husband has been in the prison system for the last 23 months. We have been married for 4 years, of which 23 months have been separated from us by prison walls. But we have proven that “love prevails” and not even prison walls can keep us apart!
“How do they both?” You can ask. It’s easy, and in this article I hope to give you some basic tips.
First of all, it helps to be madly “in love” with each other! Then the rest becomes easy!
1. Keep in close contact by phone. As most prison wives know, prison calls are very expensive. If you can, accept those collect calls. If you are not able to do so, keep in close contact through the mail. I send my husband letters, computer printouts of articles and information that interest him, newspaper clippings. I keep manilla envelopes at home and throughout the week I slip things of interest into the envelope… Then I make at least one if not more trips to the post office to send her letters and envelopes. I have been a familiar face at my post office for the past 23 months!
2. Send lots of cards for holidays and other occasions. It helps me to not only think of him as he searches for “that perfect card”, but he enjoys receiving them and often shows them to fellow prisoners. Remember that “mail time” is a very important time of day when you are in prison. Some guys don’t even get mail… it’s almost a game or competition with the guys as to how much mail they get… The inmates I always joked with my husband that his wife was going to make the mail room ‘close’, since I was sending him a lot of mail.
…..Valentine’s is a few days away…I have sent my husband several cards, and he has sent me 7 cards!….if there are times when he cannot buy cards, he makes his own, which are very special to me.
3. Photos… I have photos of my husband all over the house… in the bedroom, living room and kitchen… At first I would go to the refrigerator and hug him, where his photo was… I would talk with his photo. I also carry a photo of the two of us, with our dog, on my key chain. When he first went to prison, I mailed him at least close to 100 photos of us. He was able to put them in photo albums and would happily show the photo of him to the other boys. And yes, my husband slept with those photo albums under his pillow, he missed me very much.
4. Share your thoughts, feelings and emotions over the phone. Tell him if you feel lonely… or even angry… it’s okay to be honest. After all, your husband is in prison and you can feel what you feel… but above all, tell him that you “love him”. …a little “love talk” will get you through those lonely days and nights.
5. Daydream about your husband. Think about those days spent with him and think about what the future will be like when he gets home. Yes, daydream, and at night he dreams … and imagine that he is still there next to you at night … Think about each other, as much as you can!
6. Keep the house together while he’s gone. Also, do something for yourself, to become a better person…for example, take a college course or attend an adult school…get involved in church activities…join the choir!.. .do voluntary work, in the hospital or in the nursing home… try to put some sunshine in the lives of others… try not to concentrate on the difficulties you are going through at the moment…
7. Look to the future and know that you are getting there, even if it is one step at a time. Be strong and positive that your love will survive……For us it’s easy, because, “we love each other very much…and that’s just that…prison or not”!
I hope this article has made your day a little more positive and helped you get through another day…Happy Valentine’s Day!………and don’t forget to tell your husband , lover, boyfriend, or whoever is in your life, “I love you”… Those are 3 very important words!