The lack of effective communication between men and women in relationships is one of the main causes of breakups and divorces. If she’s ever tried to talk to her man about an important issue in your relationship or tried to express her feelings, you know how difficult it can be to communicate with him.
It usually ends in an argument and the issues are never resolved. Eventually, without effective communication, seemingly small problems become big ones that can end the relationship.
The problem is that men only know how to communicate like men and women only know how to communicate like women. And the two are very different. This article offers 3 tips for more effective communication with your man. Use these tips to his advantage, and you can enjoy happier, more fulfilling relationships as he makes any man feel like he truly understands him.
3 tips for more effective communication with men
- Find the right time to talk
First, it is important to find the right time to talk to your man. Try to catch him at a time when he is not busy or focused on other things. Most men cannot multitask as women. They have to focus their attention on one thing at a time. If you try to interrupt him during his favorite TV show or when he’s watching sports with his friends, he’ll immediately tune out and be unwilling to listen to what you have to say.
Also, never start your conversation by telling your man, “We need to talk.” This phrase instantly instills fear in men and will immediately put your man on the defensive, making him feel like he did something wrong.
- Use “we” and “I” instead of “you”
When you want to explain your feelings to your man, use the words “we” and “I” instead of “you.” The word “you” will put him on the defensive because it hints at guilt. For example:
do not tell: “You’re never home and you never spend time with me and the kids.”
Gave: “The kids and I miss you when you’re not here. We love spending time with you. We were hoping we could all do something fun this weekend.”
- Do not generalize with definitive words
Try not to use the words “never” and “always.” These are very definitive words and too generalized to be effective when you are trying to communicate with your man. They discount the things he does for you and make him feel like he can’t do anything right… ever.
These types of words will cause you to put up an emotional barrier that can be extremely difficult to break. If you’re upset about a particular incident, be specific so your man knows exactly what you’re talking about. For example:
do not tell: “You never Help me around the house!”
This type of declaration voids each time you have taken out the trash, changed the oil in your car, fixed something that was broken, etc. Instead…
Gave: “I could really use a little more help around the house. It makes me feel amazing when you help me out like you did yesterday when you took out the trash and emptied the dishwasher.”