Adolescence is a very difficult period not only for you as a parent but also for your teenager. Most parents will ask how to deal with stubborn teenagers since this age is really where independence and individuality are cultivated. But don’t worry about this stage, many parents have gone through their own children’s adolescence and most of them have actually made it.
Here are some tips on how to deal with stubborn teens:
One way to deal with stubborn teens is to listen very carefully; Most parents don’t know it, but stubborn teens can actually be the result of stubborn parents. After puberty, most children think they are adults ready to take on the world; Fortunately, parents are wise enough to know that this is not true. However, parents can think very little of their adolescent children to the point that they still treat them like children whose ideas are only childish things.
The truth of the matter is that the adolescent is more mature than the children, although not yet mature enough; this means that your teen may have a say in herself or in the way she wants to be treated. Listen to what they say first before saying what she thinks. Parents often just stubbornly and automatically deflect whatever their teen has to say, this in turn causes teens to act like their stubborn parents and become stubborn teens.
When stubborn teens give their point of view, acknowledge it even if you disagree. It’s important to let opinionated teens know that you’ve heard their opinion on things. But you don’t necessarily have to follow or agree with it, after all, in most cases, your teen may be asking for her advice or has other ideas in mind. After acknowledging your teen’s idea, you can say what she thinks it should be.
To deal with stubborn teens, imagine yourself in your teen’s shoes. You too were a teenager years or decades ago and you must know how difficult those times were. But don’t dwell too much on your own experiences because your teen is probably facing different challenges in life. Many parents say things like “I know better because I’ve been there” hoping to stop their children from doing anything. But that is actually an invitation for the child to become even more curious about such circumstances.
Another way to deal with stubborn teens is to avoid using labels when talking to your child, especially during arguments. Labels may sound meaningless when you drop them, but they can easily enter your teen’s mind whether the label is positive or negative. It is important to allow your teenager to let himself be without labels. Otherwise, the stubbornness could stem from your teen’s effort to get away from labels.
Try to avoid arguing with your child about matters of opinion. Even if the debates occur to convince one party of his opinion, what it actually does is strengthen the other party’s hold on her opinion, as they both create reasons to believe in her position. In this case, it’s better to show why your opinion could be better and let your teen see for himself what makes him think he’s right.
Stubbornness is an inevitability for teens, but it might actually be a necessary trait at this point when they’re developing their identities. What matters is that you are there for them at this critical stage with lots of love and understanding. With an open mind and a healthy heart, you will be able to know how to deal with stubborn teenagers.