If you’ve seen the movie There’s Something About Mary, you’re probably familiar with the conversation between Ben Stiller and Chris Elliott about “The Loaded Gun Theory.”
Essentially, the premise is that when you date a woman, it’s probably a good idea to masturbate instead of showing up at her door with just one thing on your mind.
Well, when this particular topic came up in a conversation recently (sorry for the unintended pun), I decided to do some research.
It turns out that assuming you phrase your Google search in a way that doesn’t result in a barrage of “adult” sites, you’ll quickly find that almost everyone who has thought about the subject of the day has come to the same conclusion: it is better to masturbate before going on a hot date.
The reasons cited are generally two:
1) Take the “pressure” off
2) If something physical happened on the date, you would be less likely to experience premature ejaculation.
Of course, conventional wisdom would point out that all of this is sound logic. But not so fast.
The problem with “conventional wisdom,” as Freakonomics author Steven Levitt so eloquently pointed out, is that it is usually based on the EASIEST conclusion to draw rather than the one that may be the RIGHT one.
And the more I consider the “Loaded Gun Theory”, the more I begin to believe that there is more to think about than what is on the surface.
In fact, I’d like to challenge you to consider whether it’s really best to store it for a few days before a particularly anticipated meeting with a woman. This is why.
First of all, I have a sneaking suspicion that when we as men are physically prepared for sexual arousal, we can radiate a more sexual (read: “masculine”) presence physiologically.
Forget the “pheromone spray”, gentlemen. My intuition is that when you’re fully “in the mood,” women can somehow sense that…and the woman in them “wakes up” physiologically.
Like I said, I couldn’t really find anything to back up this hypothesis on Google, but consider some of the buzz surrounding MOTOS (Members of the Opposite Sex) based on their various possible states of sexual readiness, hormone levels, etc.
In fact, women tend to spend more time thinking about these kinds of things, and some of the ideas that have gained traction over the years include how women tend to have a certain “glow” about them when they’re pregnant, and how when a woman is at her MOST FERTIL in her monthly cycle, she is ALSO at her sexual peak… even, perhaps, as the men around her unconsciously recognize.
So here it is: considering that we’re all human beings here, why wouldn’t a similar but gender-specific set of premises hold true for us as men?
Also, I believe that if you are more sexually in tune in the moment, you are more likely to feel a lot more excitement in your soul when you go on a date with an attractive woman. And that kind of energy can lead to some serious fireworks (key word is “lead,” as always).
The analogy of what happens when you go shopping when you’re hungry may not be too far off here. If you’ve just visited an “all you can eat” buffet, you’re more likely to put off going to the grocery store until tomorrow.
But if you missed lunch and are starving, you probably can’t wait to go grocery shopping.
In fact, I’ve looked at the ideas I just described from several women over the past few days, and they ALL agreed with me… ASSUMING the guy was mature enough to keep things in control.
It goes like this: Women really LOVE it when a man radiates primal sexuality on a date.
What they DON’T love is when kids act like Neanderthals. They don’t like to feel pressured and/or “used”.
Interesting.
So I have a feeling that “personal control” may indeed do the trick here.
Let’s be honest; if you’re hungry when you go to the grocery store, you can spend twice as much money on things you’ll probably never be able to eat before they spoil. But ONLY if you lack discipline.
And yes, if you’re about to punch a hole in your mattress when you meet a woman, you may have “tunnel vision” and seem overly focused on sex or even DESPERATE when you’re with her. .
But again… that will ONLY be true if you lack discipline.
What we have here, gentlemen, could actually be a very real LITMUS TEST by which we can measure whether or not we have COMMAND over our own sexuality or not.
That’s heavy duty, right?
If you can’t stand the heat, then yes…you’re probably better off masturbating before a date.
But that would be his loss.
Because considering that women are actually EXCITED TO THE CORE to be in the presence of a man who is both sexually charged and self-disciplined, if you CAN maintain your makeup when you’re in that state, you may very well have a VERY advantage. POWERFUL over most others. guys over there.
And I’m not going to rule out that this may be another piece of the puzzle as to why older men might attract younger women who think men their own age are “so immature.”
As for the premature ejaculation part of the argument, by the way, even that may be less of an issue than you think.
Contrary to popular belief (that “conventional wisdom” again), a woman can actually be FLATTERED if her first time together gets off to a flying start. I can guarantee that she overcomes the opposite scenario.
Also, if she’s that hot, don’t you think you’d have a “second round” somewhere?
What do you think? Can you field test everything we’re talking about here without freaking out? Can you believe that a woman can actually respond to you in a completely new and powerful way?
At the very least, I can assure you that if you CAN handle all of this and apply it, you will be operating at a level most men cannot. And you’ll probably enjoy dating him a lot more, as he becomes the newly crowned world champion in raising sexual tension.
After all, what man does NOT want to get every advantage available when it comes to separating himself from the “herd” and realizing the ability to attract the highest quality women on Earth?